CashHack: fun in the recession

One benefit of marrying the love child of Punky Brewster and Lucille Ball is the high frequency of hilarious events, some absurd, some merely entertaining, that occur in our home on a daily basis, for little to no money.

Having fun on little to no money is always important to us, even as we supposedly ease out of this recession, because what we do to make money ever threatens to take over our lives and fill them with worry, which is technically unbillable time, though I'm working on it.

We have developed a catalog of highly accessible blood-pressure lowering activities that require minimal preparation and no cost.  The quality of "you had to be there"ism reduces over time as repetition of said activities increases one's ability to embrace the funny and be less completely uptight.


1. Fake French
Living in a (nominally) bilingual nation offers many opportunities to sound out les signage francophone using les phonetics anglaise.  As past students of American high school French, we of course are fluent in a) the names of fruits and vegetables (pamplemousse, mon petit?) and b) specific statements for specific circumstances, such as a traffic jam, flat tire, and public demonstration.  We feel at liberty to make up the rest.

2. Radio roulette
You know this one:  on long drives, you put the radio on scan and try to name the artist before the other passengers.  For some reason in our car you have to add "my nickel!" to the end of your play.  I think we copied this from my cousin, but any logic behind it completely eludes us now.

(We just invented another car game while sitting in an hour+ border line-up over the long weekend.  It started as a variation on the geography game where you name a place that starts with the last letter of the previous place.  The rules were dumbed down considerably due to the lateness of the hour and our mind-numbing boredom remaining in the line until they consisted of the following:  name all the things you can think of in a category.  We chose "restaurant franchises."  It got us all the way home.)

3. The long con
More accurately termed "the mid-sized con," but who says that?  This typically involves a little planning but can arise spontaneously when inspired by materials at hand, such as chopsticks at the sushi restaurant that one party places in her ears while waiting for the second party to look up from her menu.  The joy in creating the long con lies in never knowing exactly how long it will take for the reveal.

As a word nerd, I enjoy changing Microsoft Office's autocorrect to swap my target's name or other commonly used information for something witty (you know, like "Hot Buns").  When I want to switch it up, I change my name in her phone contacts to "Your Amazing Wife."

The LWW most frequently operates in the realm of physical comedy.  Several Fridays ago I came home to find her and a friend dressed in pajamas and camel backs.  Super bonus points were earned when I returned an hour later than expected, and they gamely waited out the delay, being total pros.

White Spot, Ruby Tuesday's, TGI Friday's, Chili's, Wendy's, Arby's, Earl's, Cactus Club, Starbucks, Tim Horton's, Coldstone Creamery, Marble Slab, Shark Club -- challenge!  Not a franchise! -- Dairy Queen, Quizno's, Subway, Macaroni Grill, Outback Steakhouse, Sizzler, Pizza Hut, Boston Chicken, Boston Market, Boston Pizza, California Pizza Kitchen...